Kunal Khosla’s Krazzy blog


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Krazzy Food


One of my friends updated his status on Google Buzz “Somehow mayo just doesn’t cut the mustard”. Boredom lead to the rest –

Adhish Bhargava – Buzz – Public
Somehow mayo just doesn’t cut the mustard

Habib Qureshi – DUDE. Close the door, can’t you see the salad is dressing

Adhish Bhargava – I heard that one when I was 5. You really need to ketchup. Feb 19

Habib Qureshi – orange you glad you went to school then? Feb 19

Adhish Bhargava – I wish someone told me to concentrate though. Feb 19

Habib Qureshi – We really seem to be squeezing it with the puns ‘eh? Feb 19

Kunal Khosla – im going bananas reading this…Feb 19

Habib Qureshi – agreed. I am feeling mighty peachy myself Feb 19

Kaushal Amin – can u be anymore cheesy?? Feb 19

Kunal Khosla – yeah.. well.. i need to go pea Feb 22

Kaushal Amin – omelette this one slide… Feb 22

Kunal Khosla – yea.. well you butter Feb 22

Kaushal Amin – pho getboutit!! Feb 22

Adhish Bhargava – You’ll are on a roll! Feb 22

Kunal Khosla – stop egging him on! Feb 22

Habib Qureshi – all this is kind of getting hard to swallow Feb 22

Adhish Bhargava – lettuce not go off-topic Feb 22

Habib Qureshi – i seem to sense some bitterness Feb 22

Kaushal Amin – i relish this..Feb 22

Habib Qureshi – indeed, things are just starting to spice up Feb 22

Kaushal Amin – egg-zactly Feb 22

Adhish Bhargava – Lets just forget about what happened and curry on. Feb 22

Kunal Khosla – aa i see you have some trix up your sleeve Feb 22

Habib Qureshi – yes well, he lifts his sleeve and things will get really saucy Feb 22

Adhish Bhargava – I am appled! Feb 22

Kaushal Amin – i’m berry happy were this is going….it’s grape.. Feb 22

Adhish Bhargava – I think olive us deserve credit for this. Feb 22

Habib Qureshi – aren’t we all sweet? Feb 22

Kaushal Amin – i think we shud make this a deli routine.. Feb 22

Habib Qureshi – that a wrap. that’s all folks Feb 22

Adhish Bhargava – Thank Cod! Feb 22

Kaushal Amin – we can’t stop now…we’re raisin the roof Feb 22

Kunal Khosla – yea come on.. we can get s’more Feb 22

Adhish Bhargava – Habib – I hope you donut mind but I dont think this is going to stop just yet. Feb 22

Kunal Khosla – from here on it can only get batter Feb 22

Adhish Bhargava – Only if we wok on it. Feb 22

Habib Qureshi – I seriously doubt we can pour anything more in this Feb 22

Kunal Khosla – im sure we can if we work after 8 Feb 22

Adhish Bhargava – I need to sleep then. Do you carrot all? Feb 22

Habib Qureshi – we really seem to be slicing it piece by piece Feb 22

Kunal Khosla – I’m gonna work harder on this than i do on my mussels Feb 22

Habib Qureshi – I can’t help but feel crabby now Feb 23

Adhish Bhargava – You know what that means – thyme for some fresh air!

Kunal Khosla – cheerio then? Feb 23

Habib Qureshi – some fresh air really chopped up my crabbiness Feb 23

Adhish Bhargava – This is a good way to pasta time away. Feb 23

Kunal Khosla – am i herring things or are you both back? Feb 23

Adhish Bhargava – Only time veal tell Feb 23

Kunal Khosla – I don’t want to mess up.. I got a big steak in this.. Feb 23

Habib Qureshi – relax, no one’s getting sour yet Feb 23

Kunal Khosla – You think we can earn some bread doing this? Feb 24

Adhish Bhargava – You want to be paid a celery for all of this?Feb 24

Kunal Khosla – that was a good bun! Feb 24

Habib Qureshi – I wouldn’t mind getting paid. I really knead the dough Feb 24

Kunal Khosla – I guess I could give you some brownie points Feb 24

Kaushal Amin – ramen to that…Feb 24

Kunal Khosla – Now your just pudding words in my mouth! Feb 24

Adhish Bhargava – How can you’ll be so naanchalant?Feb 24

Habib Qureshi – Don’t worry. None of us have hit a jam yet Feb 24

Adhish Bhargava – I thought you would have a latte problems. You are handling all of this so well.Feb 25

Kunal Khosla – it should be fine as long as none of this leeks Feb 25

Habib Qureshi – all these food puns are really stirring my appetite Feb 25

Adhish Bhargava – They’re good but there is still mushroom for improvement.Feb 25
Kunal Khosla – You think this can be a wafer us to meet girls? Feb 25

Adhish Bhargava – Other than this we really don’t have the skillet takes.Feb 25

Habib Qureshi – I disagree Adhish, I still manage to sizzle with the ladies.Feb 26

Adhish Bhargava – Another happy boil meets grill story.Feb 26

Kunal Khosla – woah woah.. bak lava boy..Feb 26

Adhish Bhargava – Stay away from girls who are nachos Feb 26

Kunal Khosla – I hate taking girls out.. They make me pista money away that my parents gave me Feb 26

Habib Qureshi – I agree.
I haven’t been able to hold a crisp note longer than a day with these broadsFeb 26

Kunal Khosla – THIS IS BULL CREPE! Feb 26

Adhish Bhargava – Next time give them a pizza your mind.Feb 26

Kunal Khosla – This is like some hindi movie cereal! Feb 27

Habib Qureshi – a well done hindi movie cereal Feb 27

Adhish Bhargava – Will it make me falafel?Feb 27

Kunal Khosla – Velveeta are always starving… Feb 27

Adhish Bhargava – In this day and sage?Feb 27

Habib Qureshi – I am well aware I am going off-topic, but have you seen the weather outside. It’s getting unbelievably chilly here Feb 27

Adhish Bhargava – Yea, I yam freezing!Feb 28

Kunal Khosla – Ice cream for some sun!EditFeb 28

Habib Qureshi – yeah, I have beef with this weather too..Mar 1

Kunal Khosla – You know who else I have a beef with? Cheetos! Why do they need to copy all my work?

Habib Qureshi – Cheetos and tigers usually blend in quite nicely with their surroundings Mar 2

Kunal Khosla – Bean there done that! I myself am confused where I am at times… Mar 3

Adhish Bhargava – Don’t worry it can happen to the pesto us.Mar 3

Habib Qureshi – oh, has anyone here read/seen Pita Pan. Its a wonderful movie Mar 3

Adhish Bhargava – I’ll make a note of it in my colander.Mar 3
Habib Qureshi – Also, watch The Curious Case of Benjamin Mutton Mar 3

Adhish Bhargava – That movie was waffle.Mar 3

Kunal Khosla – There was definitely something fishy about that movie Mar 3

Adhish Bhargava – Fishiness was the yeast of my problems with it.Mar 3

Kunal Khosla – So you saying it was saute the worst movie you ever seen? Mar 3

Habib Qureshi – I know this sounds gay, but I wouldn’t mind spooning Brad Pitt Mar 3

Kunal Khosla – As Homer Simpson would put it “Dough!” Mar 3


Excerpt from my soon to be released book

Maybe I am not being able to be clear enough as to how definite me heading to the US was; let me accentuate on my point by telling you how I ended up at Indiana University.

As I matured into a handsome, young adolescent at the tender age of 14, my mother sat down by my bedside one night just as my eyes were drooping off for a good night dream-filled sleep, and embarked on the story of studying in a country informally known as the ‘home of the whopper.’

“Studying in the US is an experience like none other. Students there don’t sit in boiler room cafeterias all day long wasting their prime years, rather they are out there learning about the world and how it works. They are out there playing sports, they are out there doing projects, they are out there making new friends, they are out there studying stuff they will actually use, they are out there reading books that were written this year (and not the year the printing press was invented!). Basically they are out THERE!”

Now don’t get me wrong, I always loved the US. I mean I was probably its No.1 fan at that time. I got up in the morning craving a McChicken for breakfast, and went to sleep licking my fingers clean from the Twix I ate for desert. I dreamed of having a wrestling rink as my bed and of one day wearing every article of clothing on my body branded by Nike. I couldn’t care less about who was winning India’s elections but chewed halfway through my nails in apprehension of whether Ross and Rachel would end up together. I criticized the Delhi streets as absolutely squalid and compared them to streets that ‘I would eat off’ in the US. I weighed my dal-roti against a pepperoni pizza every night during dinner, and contrasted the features on my mothers brand new Maruti Esteem to the cheapest New York Ford taxi I had sat in during my travels. As you probably construed by now, I worshipped almost everything ‘Red, White and Blue’


TOW I like todays news today

I don’t get it. For some reason I am obsessed with the concept of news. I love the fact that every morning we wake up, stretch, scratch our private places, stumble to the bathroom, strut out like you just won a noble prize, and head straight to the newspaper lying folded up.

You open the front page, excited to read the news! I wonder what is happening in the world, no wait, that doesn’t make sense, newspapers don’t tell you what is happening in the world, rather newspapers tell you what HAPPENED in the world. Hmm.. but, isn’t that what history books tell you as well? What HAPPENED in the world. Yet, I read my history books when I want to go to sleep, and the read newspapers when I wake up. Ironic.

I was watching Charlie Wilson’s war the other day, and there is a scene in the movie when Tom Hanks is reading live news, and his assistant asks him why he doesn’t read newspapers like everyone else, to which he replies ‘Because I like to read todays news today.’

A newspaper contains many columns including world, local, sports, entertainment etc. According to me though, there are very limited columns that actually makes sense.

Humour is a good column to have, start your day with a laugh and read about how Garfield ate the Lasagne. Food makes sense. Hey this is how you make zuchini cheesecake, I bet yours will never look as good as ours, go ahead make it and compare it to the picture we have put up. Page 3 is vital. News Flash, News flash, 5 designers went to a party, it was a gay ole’ time!

There are some columns though, that could be considered news, if they made sense. On the weather page in Times of India a couple of days ago, headlines; ‘It may or may not rain today.’ NO WAY, how did you know?

I love the sports page though, they are always so excited about any good news. BREAKING NEWS, ‘India wins the second test match against Sri Lanka, Ganguly made a fine contribution of 11 runs.’

The advice page a couple of weeks ago, “Live in the present” (Anybody got that?)

Seriously, I do not understand the relevance of reading a newspaper. It is yesterdays news! It is over! Sure some things may have an impact on you like the business world and building of a new road, but won’t it make more sense to read about the news that is just occuring.

‘There was a traffic jam yesterday because a truch broke down.’ That could not have an effect on us today if we tried our best. Yet we are so engrossed in the morning paper, that we think to ourselves, shit I should avoid that way today, these trucks are spoiled brats, what if they make it a habit to break down on that road everyday.

This blog may sound cynical about how I am being a pessimist, but I am not. I just find it very amusing about how we all love yesterdays news today. I, proudly am an avid newspaper reader, and am guilty as charged.

I was trying to think of some headlines we might be seeing in the year 2058 –

” I will play in the next world cup” – Sachin Tendulkar

” There are bombs in Iraq” – George Bush in his death bed

” Dhoom 17 releasing next week”

” Sharukh all set to star in his 37th Amitabh Bachhan remake in Jhoom Barabar Jhoom”

” This is our year” – Saurav Ganguly, the coach of the Indian Cricket Team

” Inflation will fall” – P. Chidambaram

” India’s no. 1″ – Every company to ever exist

Krazzy quote for the day :- ” It is amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper” – Jerry Seinfeld


TOW The Dream Blog

 

By show of hands, how many people remember their dreams in the morning. O come on.. don’t be shy, yes go ahead, raise those pudgy arms of yours, it may be your only form of excersice during the day. Hmm… everyone says sometimes. Peculiar, yet expected.

So the reason I am posting this blog is because last night I had a dream that I was running. That is it, nothing else, just running at the speed of light. I was a giant and I kept on running taking strides of kilometres at a time, jumping over houses and buildings, continuing running, to no specific place. I was apprehensive while running in the city as I didn’t want to step over people (not all, some people I wanted to step over, you know who you are), but when I started running in forests, the greenery all around encouraged me to take longer and faster strides. Now I have had this dream many a times before, what made it out of the ordinary this time though was that I woke up tired! I actually woke up with the feeling that I ran all night, and I was sweating and my legs were exhausted.

To understand whether their is a connection between the Subliminal and conscious mind and if it be possible that just thinking intently about doing an activity maybe as good as actually doing it. This, or I have reached such a stage of laziness in my life that turning over in bed gets me tired. I think the former might have a stronger retort as at times, when I am in my pondering mood, I tend to believe that everything that we do, everything around us, is just a figment of our imagination. It has been drilled into our heads so permanently that 2+2 = 4, that we take it without blinking an eye-lid. Has anyone bothered to ask what the heck is 4 anyways? isn’t it just a one-word response we made up for a random sentence like “what is 2+2?” The same way it may be the mental exercise that we experience while running that helps us stay fit, rather than the actual physical exercise we do. Thus my dreaming about running, may have made me wake up 200 calories thinner!

 I decided that I am going to do some research and figure out the reason and rationale of some of my common re-occuring dreams.

So, runnning, my research didn’t really define running, rahter most dreams involve running away or towards something. Mine on the other hand was plain and simple running. What I believe this dream to translate to is that I am running away from something or rahter someone, me. I am competing with myself and trying to beat my conscious mind while in a subconscious state. It may be my way of proving to myself that I can outdo anyone, even myself.

Shifting on reverse, I wanted to talk about the most common nightmare I have. It is the classic movie scene, I am woken up at the middle of the night by a strange noise right outside my room. I try to go back to sleep but I see a shadow running across. I decide to go out and prove to myself that it is just a figment of my imagination. I tip-toe out of my room and quitely turn the corner to see that it is just the tree outside my room floating around this windy evening. I breathe a sigh of relieve and turn around and BOOOO! standing in front of me is a masked man, holding a dagger out, but wait I can see through him, he is translucent!!

This however, is nothing like the nightmare that I have, my nightmares are always about the same thing. Being stuck. I am stuck in a small room with no windows, nothing, I need to get out but I can’t. I try to sit, to stand, to sleep but it is not possible, the room is infinitely big, I can walk, I can run, but all I want to do is leave. I am reversing my car when suddenly out of nowhere three cars come and sorround me and I cannot move. I am just stuck there, going back and forth, but there is no way out. I am sitting in class, in a uncomfortable chair, and the class has been going on for days, but I can’t leave, I have to keep sitting, waiting until I am permitted to leave. These are the nightmares I have. It isn’t about ghosts, yet it is about something more deeper, more dangerous, getting locked up, getting stuck and never being able to get out!

Shifting back to first gear, and talking about dreams, my favourite re-occuring dream is probably 20 seconds long, but it brings a smile to my face everytime. It always happens when I am just about to go to sleep, yet not fully asleep. I am standing at a cliff, right on the edge. I know in my mind that it is a dream and nothing can happen to me. Yet, there is always a moment when I trip and am about to fall, when my knees jerk in real life. It amuses me that even though I am a 100% sure that it is a dream, my body still physically reacts to me tripping in my dreams, leading to a smile on my face!

Krazzy Dream quote of the day :- I was trying to day dream but my mind kept wandering – Steven Wright


TOW Poop and Newspapers

Poop and NewspapersIt’s a question thats haunted mankind for ages. Or rather it’s a question that has made me ponder since I took my morning poop “Why do people prefer reading in the bathroom to other equally entertaining activities?”

So today morning, I walked in with my regular morning newspaper and sat down on my throne. While sitting, I noticed my gameboy gathering dust on the side. I had initially bought my gameboy while daydreaming that I would finish the whole of ‘Super Mario Bros’, while sitting and letting myself loose in my bathroom. I could visualize that smirk in my face as I walked out from my ‘daybreak doings’, my head held up high, my ego creeping up on me, as I realise that I, Mario, just saved the princess from the evil monster.

However, that dream was not to be. After merely 2 days of forcing myself to play my gameboy, I decided to switch back to the good old morning newspaper. I used to get too into the game and overlook what I was there in the bathroom to do! I used to come out after 25 minutes still not relieved, spending the full day wondering what I had forgotten!

Next to my gameboy, was my cellphone. A device so revolutionary that I, in my hand held the power to contact anybody in the world in a matter of a few seconds. Yet, that too did not appeal to me. I had a music system in the side (I like to listen to music while taking a bath so as to not be able to hear my own voice singing), that too lay untouched while I went about my habitual bustle. Whilst having all these alternatives available, I chose to read about how Rani Mukherjee and Pretiy Zinta (2 of India’s most popular actresses) were out of work.

Back to the question, why do people choose to read in the bathroom? As we all know, there can be some considerable downtime during an average trip to the bathroom.

Using the telephone seems contra-indicated given the circumstances. I have tried the telephonic option without much avail. I am just too apprehensive that the poor soul on the other line, who has no idea what his ‘friend’ is upto at that exact moment, might just get an echo of a sound that, though I  acknowledgingly am proud of, society doesn’t take too kindly to. 

Another option could be watching T.V. while lightning the load. Isn’t it every persons dream? I mean what could be better than watching why the saas (mother-in-law) hates the bahu (daughter-in-law) and emptying your tummy at the same time. I attempted this dream feat, expecting the best damn morning assuagation of my life, however it was not to be. I kept on wondering how awkward it would be for someone sitting outside who could hear laughing and shouting in the background while he/she knew what I was up to. Come to think about it, watching television or a movie can come off as a bit too self-indulgent.

A final option could be doing nothing at all. Though, that could have some serious side-effects. First and foremost, when your doing nothing, it also appears that the exhaust, whirring away to glory, is doing nothing as well. The smell from your own emittions seem to be so unbearable that you start to wonder what exactly was present in that butter chicken. You also start to time yourself, and are concerned that it is either to fast and you have the motions or it is either too slow and you are constipated.

Thus, reading material, specially newspapers are the best option to accompany your morning hullabaloo. It is not too hard not to get over-involved in what your reading and still keep ‘preparing for your next meal’ your primary duty.

However, not every reading material is the accurate bathroom read. It is almost impermissable to read something heavy (You are heavy enough at that moment) and it is not right to read something that makes you think (don’t forget your objective). I thus recommend reading jokes or the Page 3 column of your local newspaper. Even though one might not admit it, every person living in India is interested in whether Kareena Kapoor is bulimic or not? Reading in your own privacy will save you the embaressment of your loved ones sniggering when they see you intensly trying to answer whether Katty baby and Salman Khan are dating or not.

So hate it or love it. Agree with it or oppose it. Try other alternatives if you wish, but you will always come crawling back to reading while taking your morning poop.

Krazzy quote for the day –

All my good reading, you might say, was done in the toilet. There are passages in the Ulysses which can be read only in the toilet – If one wants to extract  the full flavor of their content. – Henry Miller


TOW The Wal-Mart-isation of the World

Wal-Mart-IsationI was pondering (One of my favorite pass-times) over the name of this blog for significantly much longer than I ponder over the title of my other blogs. I was thinking of calling it the organization of the world, but I thought Wal-Mart-isation would give a better insight into what I am trying to talk about, albeit slightly confusing.

I was doing research for an IPO that KMCC is trying to get and came across this fact “CRIS INFAC estimates the size of the real estate retail market to approx. Rs. 12.7 Trillion in 2005-06, and the organized retail activities account for only 4.15% of total retail in India, which amounts to approx. Rs. 530 billion.”

I have been told this fact previously, but the numbers never hit me. It is a true saying that only percentages either over-exaggerate or under-exaggerate. However, I am not here to talk about the current percentages, rather I am talking about future predictions. INFAC also estimates that organized retail will increase at a rate of 27% P.A. within in the next 4-5 years. This means that soon enough 4.15% organized retail will convert to 94.15% organized retail.

Most people reading this will consider the move a positive one. No more haggling, no more piracy, no more standing in the heat in small claustrophobic stores and most importantly no more confusion about what exactly it is that your buying.

Think about it for a second, imagine only A/C malls, imagine a beeping check out machine with a barcode on each tomato you buy, imagine professional store clerks who can tell you how many calories Dabur honey has as compared to honey made by the Anil Dhirubhai Ambani group (no, they don’t make honey right now, but I am sure they will soon enough).

Also imagine fixed prices for every apple, not saying ‘kaise aa rha hai bhaiya?’ to the fruit seller, not being able to ask ‘agar 10 khareedangay to kum daam kaa milega?’ or saying ‘theek theek lagao’, not being able to buy a packet of chips from the guy sitting on the road, rather paying Rs. 30 to park your car 15 floors below the ground, take an elevator up to big bazaar, buying a packet of Rs. 10 chips and coming back to your car, a 30 second ordeal taking well over 10 minutes.

I am not in any way against organized retail, however I am rather sad to see the end of a way of life that India is so well accustomed to and known for. There will be no personalization left in the shopping world, where the seller and buyer, who currently consider themselves atleast Acquaintances, to consider themselves as sellers and buyers.

And is it actually more efficient? We live in a country of well over a billion people, where some people earn Re. 1 a day and some people earn Rs. 1,00,00,000 a day. I believe that the power of bargaining that we enjoy today, is vital to the efficient running of our country. I think that haggling is an excellent way for sellers to earn as much as possible and buyers to pay as little as possible. It is an excellent way to measure how much a product is worth to an individual. The person buying may pay more for a pirated movie CD if he really wants to watch it as compared to a person who just happened to be walking by and though the cover looked interesting. That is an excellent way for the seller, a common man on the street to earn a little bit extra from the person who is dying to watch the movie, and at the same time, charging the person mildly interested in the movie the market price.

Wal-Mart has set an unbeatable example of how efficient organized retail can prove. It may be one of the largest employers in the world, however compare the number of people it employs to the number of local shops it forces to shut down. I couldn’t find any real numbers, but I would take an eduacated guess and say the number of unemployed due to Wal-Mart is much more than the number employed by Wal-Mart. I am in no way a Wal-Mart hater, rather I am more of a Wal-Mart lover, but I am not a Wal-Mart supporter.

Now let me move on to the main rationale behind the spread of organized retail in India. Most people might argue that it is because people want set prices, good shops blah blah. I disagree with all the above reasons. My argument is that Organized retail is spreading like wild fire because of the increasing use of credit cards. Credit Cards have become a necessity in todays world. Nearly every person lives on credit, and why shouldn’t they? As long as you pay your bills on time, you are not charged any interest, and in todays world of inflation at near 10% per week, why would you want to pay for something today instead of tomorrow? Organized retail allows for easy credit card use which encourages my friend to go to Crossword to buy his monthly Maxim instead of picking it up from the street hawkers.

I understand the improvements through organized retail, however I will miss being able stop besides the street ice-cream vendor who gives one limchu to my blue ‘tota’ (his pronounciation of Toyota), everyday during lunch hour,  and instead having to park my car at satyam mall to go to 24-7 and buy myself one from a different cashier everyday.

Krazzy Quote for the day –

Wal-Mart?…What do they make?… Like Walls? – Paris Hilton

 


TOW The Sharemarket

StockmarketKeeping in tune with talking about my work and my feelings towards it, this blog could pose as either a serious contradiction or positive affirmation of to my previous blog on job decisions. I’ll explain more later.

So last week, the Sensex (Indian Stock Market) fell a couple of 100 points to a year low. While there was complete chaos at my office as well as the Bombay Stock Exchange I am sure, and people were selling at the speed of light, for some reason I thought about buying shares. Delhi Land and Finance (DLF) ‘s shareprice was near an all time low, about 1/3rd of its all-time high price, only a couple of months earlier.

Now DLF had its IPO recently and what I liked about it is that usually IPO’s inflate the price to an extreme high, from where the price has nowhere to go but down. However, that was not the case with DLF. Here the price stayed high for a long time, until recently when America sneezed and the entire world caught a cold, sending every sharemarket crashing.

So, I don’t know if it was the fact that I am working around people who talk about 200-300 crores as if it is chillar (change), or the fact that the weekend was coming close and I was on a high, but I called up my mom and told her to invest a substantial amount of money of mine into the stock. The surprising part though, was that she actually did do it! No arguments.. nothing. That my friends, is a mystery that the mythbusters need to solve.

The moment my mom messaged me saying that she had done the needfull, my stomach twirled with excitement at the same time that those little butterflies entered my large intestine causing me to feel sick. The full day from then onwards, my eyes didn’t leave the tv, as every time companies starting with ‘D’ appeared on the shareprice ticker, my heart started pounding like krazzy. I was addicted, and as the price gradually rose everytime DLF appeared on the ticker, I felt as big a narcissistic as Bill Gates probably feels when he hears that the US government needs a seperate computer all together to calculate his taxes.

What furthererd my arrogance was the fact that every website I had seen had rated the stock as a must-sell, whereas I had bought it a moment before it started to rise. The stock did not go up a whole amount, yet it was the fact that it had gone up! I envisioned myself as a little red devil sneakliy rubbing his hands together as he realises that he has outsmarted everyone.

The Bombay stock exchange is exactly like the MGM Grand Casino at Las Vegas. Walker-by’s stumble in attracted by all the noise and the light. See others playing and jumping with joy as they win 1 dollar in a slot machine after spending 10. Think that can’t be too hard, and try once with a small hand, and either win, or loose. But loose small because of the small hand, and a win is a win, no matter how much. Get sucked in to the wonderful world of spending less and earning more, and become one of us. A slave to lights and music, to sliding tickers and IPO bells, to flashy signs and flashier jeans, to newschannels and Dalal street (the wall street of India).

Coming back to what I wrote about this blog being either a contradiction or a confirmation of my previous blog. It is a contradiction because I write about the pressure of earning money, the thrill of the cash register ringing and how I am against it all.

It is a confirmation becuase I talk about the easy life, without working 9-5 in an office everyday, being able to work at my times and from my la-z-boy chair.

It is a wonder how no matter how low the price of a share goes, there are people willing to buy and sell, thinking they are smarter than the rest for doing so. No matter how high the price of a share goes, there are again people willing to buy and sell, thinking they are smarter than the rest for doing so.

Thats what makes the world go round, the belief in people that they are smarter than the rest.

 

Quote for the day – A dollar picked up in the road is more satisfaction to us than the 99 which we had to work for, and the money won at Faro or in the stock market snuggles into our hearts in the same way.  – Mark Twain

There was also another quote that I found killer  – Dear Lord, Help me to break even. I need the money – Anonymous

 


TOW Future Planning

Job sucksThis is it, my most personal blog ever. An insight into the individual I actually am.

Yesterday morning, my dad made me sit down during breakfast and asked me about what I want to do in my life. What work I am going to do? How do I plan to support myself?

Okay, so firstly, I am extremely confused. I don’t know whether I want to be rich or not. I don’t know whether I want to work long hours or short hours. I don’t know whether I want to work from home or from office. I don’t know whether I want to do a job or start my own bijness. I don’t know what industry I want to work in. I don’t know whether I want to do social service or private wealth service. In short, I don’t know!

As a little, innocent boy, I had one dream and only one dream to be an airforce pilot. To fly a fighter jet at Mach 3 levels, to protect and serve my country, to kill the bad guys, and most importantly to where those damn aviators shades and walk around. That dream though, was crushed when I learned that pilots need a perfect vision, one which I lack (the only imperfect part of me!).

My next dream at the tender age of 14 was to be an actor. But when I saw a video of my dancing skills, my dream went away faster than you can say moonwalk. At the adolescent age of 15, somewhere around the Mittal wedding, I realised that I want to be a Kazillionaire. That dream lasted for a while, till the time I graduate high school, and went off to college to study Finance, so that I can learn the secret of the stockmarket and make my bazillions.

My first semester in college though, changed my perception on life. Even though I have travelled to the richest places in the world, I had never really SEEN them. My first visit to India after joining college, changed my dream. I no longer wanted to earn bazillions, rather I wanted to be a politician. I wanted to change India, I wanted to remove corruption, work my ass off and make a real difference. Reading the news everyday about corrupt politicians, rapes, homicides, poverty, bad roads, traffic jams etc etc. made me want to stop cribbing like every other Indian, and rather go out and do something about it. I decided to minor in Political Science in college. However I didn’t stop believing in making money. I believe that the only way I can be an honest politician is if I am rich before I join politics, so that I don’t get caught in the extremely rewarding bribery world. I thus decided that I am going to work my ass off for about 10-15 years, amass a lot of wealth, and head out to the political world.

It was a fine dream, one I truly believed in and wanted to work towards. I was extremely happy and content, had it not been for this summer break which changed it all.

My brother is a fine young, slightly overweight man. He is carefree, relaxed, go-with-the-flow kind of guy. Atleast that is what I thought!

It was the night before my brother was leaving on an America tour, where he was out to meet a couple of buyers. I was sleeping in his room and we were watching TV late into the night. Suddenly the topic of work came up and we had a half and hour chat about some ideas, after which we went to sleep. Atleast that is what I thought! I woke up in at about 2 AM to take my midnight leak, and I saw my brother sitting on his desk typing away to glory on his computer. He told me he was too nervous to sleep. Too nervous to sleep! How can you be too nervous to sleep before a 20 hour flight? I need atleast 20 hours of rest before a 20 hour flight!

I went back to sleep after relieving myself not thinking too much about it. However, what I didn’t realise that night, is how instance would change my thinking.

I doubt that if I was not doing an internship in Investment Banking, that instance would have affected me. I always knew that running my own business would be harder than working in a job, which I assumed to be a breeze. However, my internship has taught me a lot of things. For one, I cannot sit and concentrate on reading about Power plants in Haryana for more than 45 minutes. If I could, I would not be writing my blog in the middle of a Tuesday! I see my colleagues around me typing into their computers for 9 hours a day, getting up, going home, coming back the next morning and doing the exact same thing! It just got me depressed! I cannot sit in a chair infront of a computer all day everyday!

My father was often up at 2 AM talking to the factory or rushing to work on a Sunday morning as a problem had occured, however I had dismissed him as a workoholic.  Now though, I realised that he is not a workoholic, rather he was a normaloholic.

I don’t want to be like that. I don’t want to not be able to sleep as I am too tense about work. I don’t want to sit in front of a computer. I want to be able to work at my own time, doing something which I like while not having to sit couped up in an office. It is not that I don’t want to work. I don’t mind working, I just hate having to work 9 hours in a row, 5 days a week, 360 days a year for 60 years. I want to be able to start work at 9 at night till 5 in the morning if I have to. I want to be able to sit on my la-z-boy and make my spreadsheets. I don’t care if I cannot live in a mansion, I don’t care if I have a Maruti instead of a Mercedes. When do needs merge into wants, and make our wants our needs?

However, leading such a life is not acceptable in India. A country which I refuse to leave. And I cannot follow what I want, and have to change my thinking, atleast a little bit. Under any circumstance, I need to have a Mercedes.

I thus realised what I can, no wait, what I want to do. I want to go into the restaurant bijness. I anyways eat most of my meals out, I know what I like to eat, where I like to eat, and why I like it. Why not incorporate that into my own restaurant, making it an instance success?

Life quote for the day –

By working faithfully eight hours a day, you may get to be a boss and work twelve hours a day.  – Robert Frost


TOW Family Vacation Planning

Family VacationFamily vacations. I know, I know, just saying those words sends shivers down my spine! It’s that dreaded time of the year, when the parents sit down and decide that the famiy isn’t spending enough time together, and the only probable solution they can think of is a family vacation. No, being in the same city isn’t enough. No, sitting in the same house is not enough. No, not even going out to eat lunch or dinner together is not enough! We need to spend 9 day, yes NINE days together in a foreign country where there is no place to run, no place to hide! (You know I don’t believe in all this mom, its just the entertainment bijness).

Anyways, this year we are all heading to Ireland. We are going in a big group with my papas sisters and their families.

After about 86 e-mails, and 25 excel spreadsheets, we decided on Ireland. After another 13 e-mails we decided on the places to visit and the budget. After another 4 e-mails we decided on whether to get GPS or not in our rented car.

However, that is not the issue. Our cousins are leaving on the 22nd to the magical city of London, whereas my mom has booked are departure date as 24th. Her reason though, was a practical one, when are we ever going to get to visit Ireland again?

My brother though, thought different, why stay in Ireland, when you can go to London! And that my friends, is the issue. My mom wants us as a family to stay in Ireland, and my brother wants my parents, as a romantic couple to stay in Ireland, as we, party-seeking greyhounds, head to London. By god, I have never heard so much discussion about how to spend 2 days of our lives, as I have heard this past week.

My mama thinks that going to London for 2 days is a waste of money. Furthermore she has her bijness which she needs to get back (more of that in a blog coming up soon). After hours of discussion between both of them (9-11 every morning), they finally decided on Ireland as a family. However, I still get to go to London and kill it when they all are back roasting in the Delhi heat! My brother though, the sneaky little rat that he is, is trying to convince me to go to the US or somewhere else in Europe, all because he is jealous of my heading to London. Magar main koi khota ni haega!, I’ll be heading to London, suckerz!

Stay tuned for my next blog, about my fishing adventures in Dadupur.

Famiy quote for the day –

God gave us a family. Thank God we can choose our own friends!